For years there have been rumors circulating in the scientific community that our solar system is inhabitated by yet another heavenly body.
Pluto may now be questionable…but Meatball is indisputable! You can prove its existence by walking into any Italian restaurant on Earth not serving radicchio.
The only problem is that the gastronomic astronomic folks have failed to identify the true nature of this impressive orb. False theories abound, which lead to many inaccurate, unappetizing portrayals of the big M.
I have given this grave issue serious consideration over the years, which finally led to my scientific experiment last week—which identified the greatest Meatball of them all.
Since its discovery was a happy marriage of theory and actualization…I shall run you through the theoretical breakthroughs that got me there, coupled with the specific solutions I found:
1) THE CHOICE OF MEAT
Cookbooks make lots of fuss about the composition of meats in a meatball. “Beef must be mixed with pork!” screams one. “Only three meats (like beef, veal, pork) makes the ideal meatball!” says another. Etc. etc. etc. Ratio, ratio, ratio. To me, the meat-composition issue is overrated! I often use beef only…and, as long as I do all the right things, it comes out very well. However…since consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds…on this last meatball run, I decided to mix 50% beef…with 50% ground mortadella! I simply cut a thick round of mortadella into chunky chunks (all the same size)…then pulsed them for 30 seconds or so in the work bowl of a food processor, until the mortadella mass looked like minced meat. This combo with beef was GLORIOUS!—with a porky, slight funkiness as the anchor of the ball.
2) WHAT ELSE GOES IN
More cookbook passion out there again, but I’m a scrooge once more. Too much stuff in the meatball—like the oft-called-for “herbs galore”—detracts from the basic meatiness of the ball. The latter is my big goal—meatiness! My biggest yen for other flavor in a meatball goes to cheese…but not much. And I always pick Pecorino Romano over Parmigiano-Reggiano, because the former has a more “animal” taste. My chief add-in interest concerns texture. I always add an egg to hold things together. And I want the finished ball to be meaty, but also fluffy-light. And that brings up the subject of bread crumbs—which deserves its own category!
3) THE BREAD ADDITION
Many people consider bread crumbs to be de rigueur for a meatball, believing that the bread addition transforms the meatball from a lump of meat into something else entirely. I agree with this…but the transformation that bread crumbs cause is like a transformation into lead! I like to keep the bread, but skip the bread crumbs! There is no greater secret to a fabulous meat ball than the soaked-bread trick! Tear fluffy white bread into a bowl (each torn piece the size of a pea), douse it with a little milk, then mix the floury mass into your meatball mixture. Along with the egg, it binds things beautifully…and adds a sexy fluff to the ball!
4) BROWNING
Must I always be a contrarian??? Every meatball source tells you to brown the raw meatballs before immersing them in tomato sauce. And I don’t dispute the good things that browning can do…in fact, on this celestial meatball run I did brown the meatballs.
Browned meatballs in sauce
But I hasten to point out that it’s not required by law, for chrissake! Many’s the time I’ve immersed my raw meat balls in tomato sauce without brown. Yes, you lose the flavor of browning, of course. But somehow the pure, sweet flavor of meat is even more prominent.
5) COOKING TIME
And this is perhaps my greatest heresy of all! I know that the prevailing wisdom calls for at least an hour or so of meatball cooking in sauce…often more! However, I’ve been experimenting with shorter cooking time…and discovering that 15 minutes or so brings the meatball to a beautiful, juicy, crumbly point that is more appealing than the long-cooked condition. Take a look at the photo below, from my recent triumph:
Short-cooked meatball (and note that the soaked bread bits are also visible in this photo)
6) THE SAUCE
The received wisdom: use a pretty smooth tomato sauce, any tomato sauce. Well, for starters, obviously, the better the sauce the better the meatball. But always in search of a better sauce, I sometimes use one with tomato texture in it (like strips of San Marzano tomatoes). This time around, I took it all the way: this being tomato season, I grabbed a semi-peck or so of superb heirloom tomatoes, skinned them after one minute in boiling water, and turned the fleshy strips into a fabulous, flamboyant, harvest-time tomato sauce (truth be told, I added a little tomato purée to liquefy the sauce). This sauce received the meatballs beautifully, and, after 15 minutes simmering…this was a marriage made in heaven, with a wilder-than-usual taste.
Meatballs in heirloom tomato sauce
My other secret in a tomato sauce for meatballs…is the inclusion of something meaty in the sauce! I had a real boon on my hands this time around…some leftover pork skin (fresh) from a Cuban pig roast I made a few days before. Oh wow. I wouldn’t use bacon—but do try to get something porky in your tomato sauce for meatballs!
Tomato sauce with pig skin in it
7) HOW TO SERVE
Duh…doesn’t everybody serve meatballs over spaghetti? Well, I’m good wit’ dat. But at my recent Italian-American dinner party, I decided to go another way: kicking things off with a very special, iconic amuse-bouche. Meatballs! One meatball for each diner, served in a small bowl with a spoon. That would be Beef-Mortadella Meatballs in Heirloom Tomato Sauce with Pig Skin. I topped each meatball with a little grated Pecorino Romano…and this party got off to one stellar start with a big bang!
Planet meatball, as an amuse-bouche
